Sometimes Being Special Just Sucks..

Do you ever feel like running away? Just running and running and never stopping until all of your problems are gone? Let me tell you, I feel like that a lot lately. Pretty much every day. I just feel like an outsider everywhere I go. I don’t feel welcome anywhere. Anywhere except modeling, modeling makes me not only feel beautiful on the outside, but more importantly, on the inside. Far too much, we focus on how we look on the outside every day. We become obsessed with how our hair looks, if our makeup looks good. Have you ever looked in the mirror, and I mean truly looked at yourself, inside and out, and been able to say, “I’m beautiful.” It’s hard, believe me, I’m not even there yet. When I started modeling, I literally felt separated from my high school life, my friends and everything. I felt/feel as if I don’t belong. Which in a way I don’t, I don’t fit in anywhere. But isn’t that the point of life? Isn’t the whole point not to fit in? To be original and stand out? My entire life I have always wanted to fit in. I have actually cried myself to sleep at night desperately wanting that acceptance. But you know what I have realized? Sometimes you have to walk by yourself for a while, to find out who you are. Recently I have just accepted the fact that I will never fit in. I will never be perfect either. I daydream about my Prince Charming, I sing in the shower, and yes I dance around in my pajamas in the morning while trying to pick out an outfit. But guess what? Even if no one particularly likes me for me, I like me. And I like all of me. And that ‘s the whole point is the four SUCK years in high school. You are supposed to figure out who you are. And now that I know, I won’t let anyone break me down ever again. And you shouldn’t either. You are beautiful. If you can accept that, you can take on practically anything life throws at you. “You can take everything I have you can break everything I am like I’m made of glass like I’m made of paper go on and try to tear me down I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper..”  -Demi Lovato, “Skyscraper”